THE...WORLD...IS...GAY, GREEN & GULLIBLE {WELL, AREN'T YOU}

GOT MUNCHIES?

2010-01-04T13:31:00.003-05:00

Different look, return to that original flavor. General Mills finally took heed to my threat letters. Tasted a bowl of Trix for the first time in a long time in the new year and my buds were excited to time travel to Saturday morns. *Reaches for the mixing bowl*

CHANGE I CAN BELIEVE IN

2009-10-21T18:52:00.003-04:00

AWAITING YOUR RETURN

2009-09-29T17:44:00.001-04:00

My loyalty will forever be with these bad boys.

TRUE ROMANCE

2009-08-16T14:31:00.008-04:00

19:35 mark

MY BOTTOM BITCH

2009-08-15T16:26:00.011-04:00

I have a lot of favorite people but another one of my BB spots goes to Naomi Campbell. Like B, if you have any room to hate, hate ya' self! I don't need to run down a list of reasons to love this woman, but when you start runnin' yo' shit the same way, you too can be added to the repertoire of Bottom Bitch classifieds. It's summertime in the city, and sad sad sad to say, but I haven't picked up a thing. Perhaps I'm still searching for that thang to keep me up all night. I've gotta find my copy of Swan. I read this back in high school and it's definitely one of my classic chic lit picks. *Wonders if it's still on the market.*

@LISETTECAZARET

2009-07-14T23:40:00.009-04:00

Hi, Tiffany Womble.

dream hampton (dreamhampton) is now following your updates on Twitter.

A little information about dream hampton:

10714 followers
3168 updates
following 684 people

The Twitter Team

Turn off these emails at: http://twitter.com/account/notifications

Okay, so check it out. To random people this might not be a big deal in your world of whatever it is you do on the daily. But in my world of pen to pretty tablet this made me fall for Twitter more than you could ever know. Upon checking my gmail, my mouth hung open. I told everybody, "dreamhampton is fuckin' following me on Twitter." Of course no one but me gave a fuck. I've always had a writer's crush on dreamhampton. I could never find any of her writings on the net aside from a piece on the honorable MissOctaviaButler and one on Maxwell that I didn't quite agree with. A few months back I came across a Q&A on kiddunot where I found out that her and Big were besties. I knew but I didn't know. Which is all the more reason to know and admire such an awesome person, 'cause anybody that got love for my #1 fat boy gotta have love for me. LLS, I crack myself up! Her words & presence in Twitterville reveal a childlike heart and our adoration for Seuss. Unlike many of the psuedo-celebs tweeting around to see how many fans will dryhump their nutsack she knows that we are all equal and in search of a greater good. Although she forewarns about excessive name-droppin' on any #followfriday, she reserves that right for her journey through this thing called music. And while I thought I was the go-to person to all of my non-writer friends, I learn something new whenever she updates. willard wigan, who knew! Looking forward to my cross country trip where I time travel via her timeline. Now when & if @sistersouljah starts tweeting, I'll just die. @iamdiddy will never have to reply
@dreamhampton you inspire me to be greater!

FOR YOUR AURAL PLEASURE

2009-07-09T21:07:00.005-04:00

Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! Why you gotta breathe & hum on the tracks like you do!?! This right here is the hotness, you definitely put your smackdown. Follow the drip to suite903 & download her new mixtape, Yours Truly

25 - LIFE

2009-06-29T21:50:00.011-04:00

"AS recently as last week the white house directed the usjd to act on relief for prisoners who have been serving extraordinary amounts of time on the premise of the crack law. congress are now in the process of reducing the penalty from a 100 to 1 ratio to a 1 to 1 equal to normal existing laws regarding crack in its natural form of powder cocaine. for over 20yrs the public has been lobbying for this transition and it has now come to fruition on the back of a decision congress made a while ago when they decided not to expand the penalty's for the drug known as crystal meth--a drug that has been destroying white communities all across the united states at a rate equal to the explosion of crack in the 1980's. congress decided that to increase the penalty for this drug would only fill the prisons up with addicts, people who need help and would most likely not even reach there intended targets -- the people who supply these drugs! due to that moral decision they had to go back and address the crack law which disproportionately affected blacks. but now they have finally agreed to try to fix a terrible wrong done to a segment of this nation who has faced more wrongs than any one distinct group of people should ever have had to deal with. what vehicles are they going to put in place to help these victims? there are going to be thousands of prisoners released all across the usa who will be friendless, jobless, torn from family, and bitter at having been locked up from 15to20yrs for no more than 20grams of crack. if our communities backed by the local and federal governments don't get involved in making a way to help these people then what they are waiting for is nothing other than tragedy. there needs to be a strategy put together now to welcome these victims back into the community without ostracizing them for there past or present problems. the people who are going to be living and working daily with most of these victims should take the initiative to help include these people in activities in the community so that they will feel needed and take as much pride in it as everyone else who already has a place in society. there may be a lot of different views from a lot of different people but hopefully the overall discussion will be about helping these people overcome the adversity that they have endured!!!!!!!!"
DARNELL JONES

WHO'S GOT THE JUICE NOW?

2009-06-25T20:27:00.002-04:00

Okay, I'm not sure wtf is goings ons. Either I'm channeling the dead or the psychic abilities I prayed for as a kid have finally kicked in. This past weekend I was talking to babygirl about MJ and how he moved people in a way that surpassed the pope. And with B on tour and in my town this week I've mentioned his name @ least once a day. She laughed her ass off when I told her how the fans would fall out and go into this cult-like trance. I pulled this clip on the tizuube since she wanted proof and shiiit, I was hypnotized my damn self. While I never made it to a MJ performance the energy is undeniable! He truly filled me up. Ayo Beyonce, you got The Juice now.

2009-06-21T23:27:00.003-04:00

I've been gone from the blogsphere for sometime but I had to get my mind right. I'm still not quite all there, but whoever created the mantra to take one day @ a time knew that it wasn't just for the Anonymous. This is an open letter to Fannie C. Womble, my best friend, my # 1 supporter, and my horse for all the races she won:
Mommy, it's been 2 months and often it seems like 2 days. On this Father's Day I'm missing my dad as I do every year, but the aching for you is just as deep. I can hear your laugh and I thank you for the gift of humor and making a joke out of all of life's adversities. Thank you for keeping shit so so real with me. Whatever I asked, you never tried to hide the truth. And towards the end, I truly could see all of your ways in myself. Sometimes we used to disagree because I couldn't accept it, but I got the best of the best and can hear you telling me how much you prayed for me to begin life inside of your womb. But no, you were my gift & I THANK GOD for you, for having 28 wonderful years of an unconditional love that so many people never get the chance to experience. Mommy, I am who I am because of you. God is the greatest and what they say is true, a mother is the closest to the One above. I Love You is simply not enough and I will carry on your life & love always. Momma, I Made It!

MY BOTTOM BITCH

2009-04-29T14:27:00.006-04:00

"The Latest, Greatest Murda Mami"

oh yea, she's killin' em 1-by-1 & I love love love that niggas don't know who the fluck she is. Keep these hoes guessin MissAmber!

G20 "GET MONEY" SUMMIT

2009-04-01T19:54:00.003-04:00

"GIVE ME CONTROL OF A NATION'S MONEY SUPPLY, AND I CARE NOT WHO MAKES ITS LAWS"

Oh G-Money definitely knows sumthin'! I've been on the low as of lately just tryna sit back and examine this whole financial crisis and make sense of it all. Seriously, I can't even begin to see through the bullshit because it's that thick. Everyday the media feeds us bad news on top of shitty news and while I love the current protests going on in London and around the world, it really doesn't matter. What's really good behind the closed doors where the Group of Twenty Finance Ministers and Central Bank Governors meet? Are people truly convinced that these talks in some way will benefit their state of well-being? I have no answers just hundreds of questions. Aside from Slumdog Millionaire, Zeitgeist is probably the best thing that I had the pleasure of viewing this past year. Follow the drip and your mouth will remain :0

JILLY FROM PHILLY IS TRULY NO. 1

2009-03-31T23:05:00.003-04:00

Once you get past the natural reaction to kiikii @ JillScott's (4.04) Afrikan accent, the landscape for the No.1 Ladies becomes this breathtaking backdrop for a promising tv series. Mama Africa never looked so beautiful and Jill & Anika Rose along with the awesome cast make her proud. There exists all of the right elements of surprise, mystery, rich history and humor. There is something familiar with this role, which I firmly believe wasn't much of a stretch for the loving, bosom-hugging Jilly. Give it try if you haven't done so. I put my $$$ on this one!

CUNTASTICAL

2009-03-03T18:50:00.003-05:00

So we kick off March Madness and Women's Month with "Cuntastical" featuring my homie, my ace, the forever childlike Drew Barrymore (2.22). Already a fan of Firestarter, her bestseller "Little Girl Lost" was like the first bio I completed. At age 9 I instantly became a magnet to anything Drew. When we got our first VCR, I rented Poison Ivy so many times the dude who owned the dusty movie rental spot at the corner of Liberty Heights & Gwynn Oak had it waiting for me behind the counter. Aside from a family background in cinematic drama, Drew brings it. As of lately her m.o. has been delightfully fun chickie flics which I lovelovelove, but I've missed the dark side. Next month she takes on the role of Little Edie in the HBO remake of Grey Gardens {follow the drip}. It tells the story of Jackie Onassis' reclusive auntie and cousin who live in a decaying 28-room mansion in East Hampton. The original 1975 doc is jarring as the two women share a delusional world and a room with cats who shit and piss in the corner, oblivious to the garbage that fills the rest of their space. A recent W article reads that Drew never broke character, off the set or during the entire shooting so I'm certain she will hole in one. Major props to her production company Flower Films whose 7 flics have generated 900 mil. Yep, the girl has the formula and forever a place in that soft spot of my journey to womanhood.

THE NAKED & THE NUDE

2009-02-25T18:02:00.002-05:00

The Naked and the Nude
Robert Graves

For me, the naked and the nude
(By lexicographers construed
As synonyms that should express
The same deficiency of dress
Or shelter) stand as wide apart
As love from lies, or truth from art.

Lovers without reproach will gaze
On bodies naked and ablaze;
The Hippocratic eye will see
In nakedness, anatomy;
And naked shines the Goddess when
She mounts her lion among men.

The nude are bold, the nude are sly
To hold each treasonable eye.
While draping by a showman's trick
Their dishabille in rhetoric,
They grin a mock-religious grin
Of scorn at those of naked skin.

The naked, therefore, who compete
Against the nude may know defeat;
Yet when they both together tread
The briary pastures of the dead,
By Gorgons with long whips pursued,
How naked go the sometime nude!

Sidebar: I don't know why this came to mind, maybe my quest for passion, for heat, for the desire to do. I thought about my English teacher Mr. Rey and how much we both liked this poem, the way the words rolled off our tongues as well as its sexual seduction. Maybe you've heard of it, maybe this is the first time. Enjoy!

WHO ARE WE, REALLY?

2009-02-22T15:01:00.012-05:00

Sooo, I got my Showtime back although I've missed out on the last 2 seasons of the L Word, my beloved Weeds and Californication. My new addiction is this united states of Tara chick. I haven't been this excited to tune in since The Wire. Watching Toni Collette and her enormous range of talent should make most of these networks ashamed to greenlight this bullshit we call television, especially when I had to wake up this afternoon to yet another Tyler Perry marathon. The shit just isn't funny anymore. But wait, was it ever? Now, Buck on the other hand {one of Tara's alters} is so funny it hurts. I can't help but see pieces of myself and I wonder if that yucky feeling I get in the pit of my stomach sometimes when I'm turned off by everyone including myself is just my way of transitioning. Does it ever happen to you? I think the most intriguing people suffer from DID, it makes coping with this thing called life a lot easier. Like Weeds, I look forward to hearing the theme song almost as much as the talent behind Diablo Cody's two-finger creation. Not because the plot is off-the-wall different, but because there are hundreds of layers that have yet to be explored. I hate that I can identify with Tara but still feel that pang of skepticism when she goes in & out of reality. Shit, don't we all wish we could...

WHEN I TELL 'EM ROLL UP!

2009-02-18T20:21:00.003-05:00

Whether you twist up, favor the yak, pop or D. all of the above, please do it and watch this clip of Travis the Chimp. Fucked up that he went Hannibal on that lady, but this shit is hilare. This is still a wild, fuckin' monkey yo, so why all the disbelief? I haven't lmfao like this in a long time.

*Note: Xanax may decrease inhibitions, increase risk-taking behavior, rage and/or hostility.

A YEAR STRONGER

2009-02-15T02:49:00.011-05:00

What exactly do birthdays teach us? I've always looked @ them as my personal New Year where I look back, remembering the times I thought I couldn't make it through this thing called life, understanding just how far a sense of humor can carry a sista. For me, a yearly ritual of reading the journal from the year before, laughing at all of the silent promises that I broke, tears and bath water that smeared my purple ink, tryna figure out where I want to go... They say that if you fail to plan, there really is nothing waiting for you around that corner. Well, I say planning never got me anywhere. As much as I have tried, my life takes its own route. Nevertheless, this gal right here has had major fun, met the most intriguing people and above it all I have loved hard. This year I brought my 28th in @ the 3-card poker table @ Harrah's Casino in the AC where the floor was packed with people gambling their worries, false happiness, drunkeness, and income tax returns away at tables whose limits were way high in honor of Cupid and President's day. If you've ever played 3-card you know how easy it is to fall for the game. When that straight flush comes your way and you're breaking even, the come up is orgasmic, instant gratification @ its best, and then "poof" the thrill is gone! Born on the Day of Inventiveness, I cant wait to see the many ways I'll reinvent MissWomble (2.15). Cheers to me and a round for the eccentric, chaotic crazies who share the same day:

Charles Tiffany, Founder of Tiffany & Co.
Galileo Galilei, Grandfather of Scientific Revolution
Griselda Blanco, Original Cocaine Cowgirl
Baby, Cash $ President
Matt Groening, Creator of The Simpsons
Susan B. Anthony, Women's Activist
John W. Nordstrom, Founder of duh!

Sidebar: Picture us @ the roundtable

JEALOUSY IS LOVE.?.

2009-01-23T23:52:00.021-05:00

Not sure if that's a question or a truth. Both, depending on your experiences with the gut-wrenching emotion. Last night I came across the movie, The End of the Affair (1999) starring Julianne Moore and Ralph Fiennes. Instantly pulled in by the words, "This is a diary of hate," I gave it a shot. As I've said before, I'm a fan of dialogue and in awe of any writer who places words exactly where they should be. Set in London WWII, the look of the film is authentic without appearing too grainy. Bendrix, played by Fiennes is consumed by his love for Sarah (Moore), the neglected wife of a dull man who is more interested in serving his country than making love to his wife. Like the movie Unfaithful, I found myself taking sides with these women, both in search of something new that would excite them, make them feel alive, adored, beautiful, wanted... The love scenes are so palpable a girl can't help but clench those thighs tight. Before I continue, one should be in the mood to watch such a movie. It's reminiscent of those 1920 AMC joints where it rains a lot, but don't let that fool you. If you're up for a good story that builds like a top-rated movie should, indulge. After two years of a love affair left in the wind, Bendrix runs into Sarah's husband Henry who is wandering in the rain aimlessly in search of his wife whom he later admits to Bendrix is sleeping around. Embarrassed, Henry confesses that he has thought about seeking out a private detective to reveal the mystery man. Bendrix offers to go in his place, showing us the first signs of jealousy for this woman who cut him off in the midst of fire and desire. I like film reviews but can do without spoilers, so back to the diary. Not sure if it was hate for Sarah, Henry, God or above all, lack of control over one's emotions. Anywho, no matter how many movies tell a tale of infidelity, there will always be an audience struggling with their own existing jealousies, those that have pushed many away and the ones that have yet to be revealed. ?Que piensas?

LEGENDSTATEMENTSTAR

2009-01-20T20:03:00.008-05:00

LSS here~~I’M BACK AGAIN, creeping through the shadows as you can always count on me to. Sprinkling my goodie dust (read: that supreme herbal treatment) all over my girl Twig’s blogspot is what I intend to do and fashion, in particular, is what I do here so let’s get right to it, shall we?

It’s gonna be a longer post than usual children, I’m feeling froggy so I’mma leap dammit!

Fashion with a purpose in ’09 bitches is where I’m headed (remember: I don’t compromise comfort to be cute; neither should you!)

So, President and Mrs. Obama have made it officially official (YAY) by shutting down the District of Columbia today with a star-studded inauguration celebration. Being there and feeling the energy was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G…

Mrs. Obama gets an A+ on her first grand fashion appearance on the world stage. She gets an A+ for the following reasons: (Ladies, please-relax and take notes)

She supported an American designer (check plus Mrs. O)
She WAS NOT a label whore (check plus Mrs. O)
She mixed it up by pairing couture with J.Crew (check plus Mrs. O)

Most importantly, Mrs. Obama introduced us (read: the entire world and that dry ass white house) to her brand of “black girl swag” by being daring enough to rock a spectacular Golden-yellow-greenish “grown lady sexy” day dress, shrug and matching overcoat by Cuban-American designer Isabel Toledo to the daytime inauguration events. The critics gonna hate (they already are) but I absolutely adore her color and style choice. It exuded femininity, queendom, optimism and renewal; green, yellow and gold are all colors that usually remind us of LIFE and LIVING and to much of the haters delight is not a color that is typically worn in these cold winter months. Nevertheless, our first lady’s dark brown skin glowed against that beautifully elegant and well-put together ensemble. Let’s not even get into how she straight kilt (yes I said kilt) the “don’t be a label whore” game by pairing her green Jimmy Choo’s with her green J. Crew leather gloves. She made me proud today!

To the 10 (count them T-E-N!) official inauguration balls in the District tonight, Michelle graced the world’s fashion stage again in a Jason Wu original design---an Asian-American designer (she holding ‘em down right? Change certainly has come hasn’t it?). Jason Wu is only 26-years old, by the way, and an extremely talented designer. He’s young, focused and his first line recently debuted! I mean, Mrs. Obama is definitely walking the talk so far in terms of her fashion sense.

Message “to-go”: Keep it grown and sexy in ’09 ladies, don’t be a label whore, support American designers whenever possible, and never be afraid to pair couture with chain store finds.

Cheers and here’s to the fashion forward first black family!

p.s. (did yall check out Mr. President’s razor sharp “black boy” shape up? Dude was so very fresh and so very clean)

GOTTA LOVE THIS CITY

2009-01-11T01:29:00.004-05:00

Get 'em! 13-10 Ravens v. Titans

Snoop & Anthony B. in my hometown

{Why they won't give us one more season of The Wire}
"This thing is bigger than Nino Brown, and I got a list to prove it. If I'm going down, I'm taking a lot of people with me."
-Mayor Sheila Dixon & her boy boy Gov. Marty O'Malley-

FOR YOUR DOWNLOADING PLEASURE

2009-01-10T23:44:00.005-05:00

Special thanks to Fader for the link to the new Clipse mixtape sponsored by Complex. I mean, there really isn't too much to say when it comes to these dudes because the music speaks for itself. If you've ever rode out to any Clipse mixtape where your mind just starts zonin' for a good 2 hours, you can feel me. Will the cmonwealth residents get the proper respect this year?

POP FICTION

2009-01-10T23:34:00.013-05:00

Getting back to the idea of purity, you finished this album in three weeks. Are you creating without thinking about it as much now?
Yeah, but when you say don’t think about it... People say, “He’s a pop singer now,” and I’m like, Yes, correct! They’re like, “It sounds like he wrote this in five minutes,” and I’m like, You’re right, it took me five minutes! Is something better if it took five years than if it took five minutes? I feel like all the words are in you, you’re just blocking yourself, you’re blocking your creativity. Society has put up so many boundaries, so many limitations on what’s right and wrong that it’s almost impossible to get a pure thought out. It’s like a little boy, looking at colors, and no one told him what colors are good, before somebody tells you you shouldn’t like pink because that’s for girls. Why would anyone pick blue over pink? Pink is obviously a better color. Everyone’s born confident, and everything’s taken away from you. So many people try to put their personality on someone else. Especially me, they try to suggest what I should do. What I want people to realize at this point is, I don’t give a fuck. That’s why I made this album. I’m using Auto-Tune because I don’t give a fuck. I like the way it sounds. This is the way I’ma put my shit up, this what I like the most.
-Kanye, Fader Magazine

Noooo RESERVATIONS...

2009-01-05T20:25:00.008-05:00

If this is any indication of my '09, then let the good times roll. I am farfarfar from starstruck but when I walked into the Renaissance Hotel today and ran into my beloved Tony I almost flipped out! But I promised myself that I'd save the ugly tears for MJB. "Anthony Bourdain!" I screamed. He was equally happy to see me I'm sure. Had I blown his cover? Me run into AnthonyBourdain (6.25) mid afternoon in Bmore City, who knew? Yep, he's in my town in search of that good lake trout. I found it quite ironic that today marks the new season of No Reservations. I'll take a side of his witty sarcasm any day, oh and how rightfully oh-so cocky. And unlike Andrew Zimmern {was I the only one who thought it was Zimmerman} who'll eat your dog's balls if stewed and braised in a good sauce, my boy Tony tells the truth when it comes to awesome food. Tough tittie he already has someone escorting him around the infamous Lexington Market but will he get a chance to try that perfect chickenbox with salt, pepper xtra ketchup? Next time Anthony, next time...

TO EAT OR NOT TO EAT...

2008-12-28T17:16:00.002-05:00

I came across this clip by mistake, which happens to be one of my favorite Chris Rock jokes. I always wondered if it was real and well here it is. One of the questions us girls always discuss when it comes to the lockdown is how long before a man goes to the other side to satisfy his desires. The consensus is usually 2.5 average. ?Que piensas?

IS THIS LOVE AFFAIR OVER?

2008-11-22T20:46:00.022-05:00

It's been almost 8 years since I first sat down to pen my first novel. And when I come across anything that I've done between then & now, I wonder how I let my focus go rather then ask the question, "where it went". I usually let my closest, most trusted dearhearts review my work before I release it to the gp. But tonight while searching for a new project to revive my senses and spark "that thang" I came across this treatment to a screenplay that I've only gotten 35minutes into. It's the treatment for "Liquid Dreams", a novel that sometimes makes me cringe when I flip a page or two. I guess it's a like the actor who refuses to watch her movie once it's complete or Spike's detachment from Girl6. In spite of my own areas of growth, Liquid is my Belly and I'd like to know how you feel. Is this a love affair that I should let go? Or should I be bestfriending investors while in Park City come January. Any which way, see you @ Sundance!

WHEN I TELL 'EM ROLL UP!

2008-09-29T00:09:00.002-04:00

Really, how easy is it to fall out & SHOUT!?! I'd like to see the documentary on our folk and their need to fall out and act a damn donkey every Sunday. Don't forget Religilous drops this week!

DEAR JACK, IT'S ME TIFFWOMBLE

2008-09-19T07:06:00.015-04:00

So I'm omw to work {say nuthin'} and I bend down and have the pleasure of meeting this likkle birdie. No lie, {I can't blame the green}, shortie had real tears in his eyes. Two footsteps ahead of us, his companion had !splat! died on the pavement. The birdie hops on my pants leg and I sooo wanted to take him home and nurse his wounded heart. Now I know my issues run deep, but I have this connection with animals that travels beyond anything I've ever experienced with human contact. After picking him up and placing him safely behind a shrub of black-eyed susans, I couldn't erase this aching. Was it a sign for me to finally take my career in veterinary medicine seriously and treat this writing thing as a hobby? This chance encounter wasn't my first. Since greenness, I've always found, stolen and collected furry friends. There was the time my baby sitter's cat gave birth to a litter and I snuck one home in my gym bag, the time I stumbled upon a rabbit in the middle of the hood, became best friends with my dearest ChiChi, the flame-point Himalayan while attending school in Philly, the ferret who tried to climb into one of my bags the day I packed up and left Philly... the list goes on & on. Amidst the utter craziness and chaos that's going on the in the u.s. of assholes, beauty is truly a doorstep away if you stop & listen.

MOMENTS AFTER MY PALIN POST...

2008-08-29T23:13:00.001-04:00

See, my boy Bill oh so feels the girl!

COULD PALIN BE ANY PLAINer?

2008-08-29T22:26:00.008-04:00

Okay, this shit pissed me off when I hit up bbc this am.
Message: If the DNC can choose a black nigger that the world just recently became familiar with, we can pick a Plain, schume Palin from a state that nobody ever discusses, like NEVER!

The last time I paid any attention to Alaska was an episode on Nat Geo, oh and Insomnia w. AlPacino. But that came out in 2001, rt? I mean, come on. For real for real, are they 'seer? Known for its breathtaking seas of green, wildlife and small population (approx. 650k), this chickie's life hardly mirrors mine. But back to the message. Maybe I'm going too far with the subliminal but all I've heard are the comparisons to Obama as if they are preppin' her to eventually take on the task of Commander-In-Chief {they know sumthin' we don't}? I mean for real, this isn't an episode of 24, this shit is s'pose to be real life. Or is it? The line seems paper thin.

Her previous political experience consisted of terms as Wasilla's (a lil' town of 6,500) mayor and councilwoman and a stint as head of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission
Admits smoking marijuana in her youth in Alaska when it was legal there but not liking it {hmm, bye!}
Husband works in Alaskan oil field for BP. Hello, is anybody listening?
Refused abortion after learning son would have downs while she was pregnant {okay, walks the talk when it comes to pro-choice, but I'm sure if we dug deeper we could find the backyard alley in Baghdad where she received an AB}
Lifelong NRA member {I can sooo respect that}
Hunted moose w.Daddy before school {loses vote w.Peta members}
In response to the energy crisis, Palin offered to give Alaskans a $100 a month, energy debit card {1/2 a cool point for effort}
But... let's keep that shit funky, behind that sinister smile and those librarian frames lurks an evil we can't even imagine. And any woman who will take it upon herself to choose for the entire pussy population needs to go "satdown!" {That's right, say it together, satdown}

COUNTDOWN TO BRYANT PARK!

2008-08-27T23:28:00.007-04:00

Was I the only one who had a hard time deciding!?! For real for real, I need them to give credit where credit is due. India Arie smashed those bitches w.this challenge, hands down. Seat belts, yo! The finale can't come quick enough. This should've been the first immunity tie in PR history.

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA

2008-08-17T23:36:00.017-04:00

The only bullshit thing about Vicky Cristina Barcelona was the slip of paper they call a movie ticket. I really need high-priced Landmark Theatre to step their shit up before I start printing my own gotdamn ticket stubs. We all caught the 7pm show and some of us accidentally threw the $10.50 slips of paper away, mistaking them for flimsy valet receipts. But enough of that. If I had to end my summer with a movie that left me full, this was it. One of my favorite discussions surrounds the theory of monogamy. While there are few animal species that form a lifelong union, I don’t believe that humans were meant to be in that 3-5%. Divorce rates, violent deaths due to infidelity, Cheaters, you feel where I’m going? Like religion, we sometimes get swept away into this standard of true love, forcing us to impose our jealousies and possessiveness onto a person who belongs to no one but her/himself. Dismantling any convictions about love you had prior to its viewing, Vicky Cristina proves that there are many. And as my boy Larenz put it, or was it Isaiah, love is what you make it. I mentioned before that Scarlett is my BB but gave little spotlight to MissCruz (4.28). Remember how awesome Gothika was and while brief, Penelope stole the shine from Halle. It’s the same with Vicky Cristina! She steps on the scene and every other character loses some of their luster, including the confident, desirable, sexual being called Juan Antonio played by Javier Bardem. Her Latina spice and humor make this cinematic experience complete. For 96m I was in Barcelona, spying on these people’s lives, loves, lack thereofs, feeling very much alive. The plots are intricate, yet so believable and the cast executes w.out force. {I know, I’m way too serious.} But there are so many moments where we read their faces and know that Penelope, Scarlett and Javier are in the moment. Was I the only one who wanted the 3some to succeed? Was Cristina afraid of taking it there, accepting that her relationship consisted of a unit that actually worked? Or was she simply trying shit out until it was time for the next adventure? The answer is D. All of the above. Lots of laughs, lots of creamin’ and lots of what ifs, thanks Woody for making me feel.

LEGENDSTATEMENTSTAR

2008-07-30T20:03:00.001-04:00

Last week I came across highsnobette who reminded me sooooo much of my fashion forward companion whom I call Gayle (I'm her Oprah of course). Anywho, when I told her this blogger chick was her kindred soul, I'm sure she thought that I was talking outta my neck. Gimme my props LSS, gimme my props. I was on point, eh? After begging her to do sumthin' with her fashionista p.o.v. she sent me this. Thanks for contributing to the world of TWIG. And big-ups to the chickies over @ highsnobette. I've never viewed a blog in one sitting. You chic bitches rock!

"LSS here! I’m coming out of the shadows by special request ONLY; my beloved Twig (MISSWOMBLE) commissioned yours truly to contribute to miss thang’s illustrious blog lol. As an undercover-comfortfirst-fashionista, I find it quite befitting to kick this shit off proper like! For my very first blog post ever, I will showcase my brother from another mother MARC JACOBS! Designing for Louis Vuitton, Jacob’s fall/winter 2008 collection gave me fever! My soul died quietly once I saw the comeback of my beloved HAMMER PANTS! Check out what will become the new autumn and winter comfy craze for us regla folk who ain’t never scared to make fashion history as we go about our very normal, daily lives. Bon Appetit~~~O and remember children, I do not believe in being uncomfortable in the name of fashion…life can sometimes be uncomfortable enough!" Smoochies~~LSS

Sidebar: I take it that you like this look on MissJones? Oops, I forget that your Leo soulsista can do no wrong;) {Hated it!}

CRY BABY, CRY BABY SUCK ON SHERRI'S TITTAYS

2008-07-20T16:29:00.009-04:00

Dear Elisabeth,

Do you know how long I've been waiting for this one. Sometimes I wonder if you drank too much saltwater @ the Australian Outback. Anywho, I braced myself when Michelle graced us with her presence last month, hoping & praying that you didn't resort to being a dumbdumb that day. But you behaved yourself {I think you knew that was a match you'd lose}. I have to tell you, my favorite pick-on-Elisabeth moment was the Rosie showdown and then things died down a bit. After all, we could always rely on birdcaged Barbie to come to your defense, but not this time. I sooo hope that Whoopi broke it down so that it could forever be broken.

GOT MUNCHIES?

2008-07-20T14:15:00.018-04:00

If you ever pondered why the apple had been the forbidden fruit, you probably never tried it with a lil' {I prefer a lot} of McCutcheon's. Aside from a quick feed for your case of the Munchies, it's also a great detour from the same ol' strawberries & seduction routine. Trust me on this one.

-3 New Zealand Braeburn Apples sliced (or your fav of course)

-Dollop of McCutcheon's

Enjoy!

MY BOTTOM BITCH

2008-07-20T02:00:00.006-04:00

I'ma sucker for movies with great dialogue-Woody Allen joints especial. Some of my favorites are Matchpoint, Scoop, A Good Woman, and Lost In Translation (high5sies under the table Sofie). ScarlettJohansson (11.22) just so happens to be that thang that makes these classics pop. I'm serious, she can do no wrong and I'd luvluvluv to borrow that raspiness of hers for a day. She's just one of those artists who feels her shit, who you know is always in her element. And she's adorably cute, has anyone seen her twin brother Hunter? Vicky Cristina Barcelona drops August 15th and if you aren't a fan, this could change things. MissScarlett shares the screen with my other BB, Penelope {1935 old-ass Woody probably ruined most of his pants while filming} who I hear, gives new meaning to 3somes. Just watch the trailer, I think we'll all be pleasantly surprised.

MAKE IT WORK

2008-07-16T23:01:00.011-04:00

My Final4

Growing up before I knew cable, I had Miss America, Miss USA and all of that other pageantry bullshit. I used to predict the winners @ the beginning based on looks and personality and wait it out to see if I would come close. It's the same w.PR {I told you this joint is one of my many obsessions}. Although I like to ride it out 'til the end, the 1st episode is usually all I need to determine who's in or out!

AUF WEDERSEN!

2008-07-09T23:08:00.015-04:00

Let the countdown begin! My favorite reality show ever returns {quicker than I anticipated} although I wanted to cut them off after...

And again when...

Bravo showed they ass when they dropped this joint, but wtf is up wit' Shear Genius {she gags} and the fake ass hairstylists. I mean, don't the producers know the best come from Bmore. Shit they could've even pulled my girl Marisa from Split Ends or that tatted dude Sandy wit' the bone in his nose. But enough of the fraudulent. Set your reminders, I know where I'll be come next Weds.

YO HATIN'

2008-07-09T22:07:00.018-04:00

"In order for you to win the election, you must first ignore any deflection my expression might've caused you to assert your manly erection."

No for real, I would like for all of the so-called Black activists, professors, congressmen & women {who don't do shit but talk talk talk} to have a seat in the corner, circumventing around the issues, always tryna get a lil' airtime. The ranting and empty rhetoric of ghosts from Christmas past is just that-a thing of the past. Jesse, you're a fuckin' hater, period. You couldn't make the ticket then and you're salty. Air dry, bitches.

Let us not forget how Farrakhan plotted against Malcolm...

Aural Inspiration:
The Carter III, Don'tGetIt

LOOK WHO JOGGED THRU THE BRAIN

2008-07-06T20:29:00.009-04:00

Last night we all had a hearty laugh when I broke out into one of my many impersonations, "CITA!!! It's Cita big baby." Omg I used to love that show. Eff Perez, MissCita was the first real blogger. Hidden behind a gotdamn computerized anime who could swing her neck and hips, she said all the things we were thinking. Uddarum, they should've kept her in the BET lineup because she kept that shit funky and swazzy, jonesin' on the artists behind her video countdown. {will the gum poppers please bow your heads for a moment of silence}

THE EVOLUTION of "NO HOMO"

2008-07-02T21:19:00.009-04:00

When I tell em "Roll up, niggas betta roll up!" No, please roll up the nearest blunt, sumthin is seriously wrong wit this WillHatcher fella'. Much luck in your career with comedy.

YOU CAN DO IT TOO

2008-07-01T19:36:00.014-04:00

Yo, I luv this lil' boy I swear I do, but why does every article and mixtape have to announce to us peasants that MrWilliams has this eclectic taste when it comes to high fashion? Like, he's this martian whose goal is to enlighten us on what's fashionably acceptable. Boy, have a seat! No, for real especially wit' that purple Haut a Courroies Hermes bag that you can't pronounce. Author of Bling, Erica Kennedy asks him the price. "That would be tacky," Phareal responds, but then goes on to tell us that one would run as much as a high-end Mercedes.

Underneath his yearning to time travel to the crack era, he is one of hip-hop's genius, but my favorite was the photo shoot. Either my bookie was suffering from allergies or he finally came down with that gay man's gaze, {you've seen it} when the eyes seem to have this layer of satin dreaminess. And while I enjoyed his commentary on the Lebron/Gisele cover, wtf is up with this constant urge to namedrop he & MissWintour's "boy toy" relationship. You and he got enough airtime in the Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton doc. We see you and the verdict's in: You're on some ova shit.

Aural Inspiration:
In My Mind: The Prequel - A Gangsta Grillz Extra

SMUDGED INK FROM THE PERIODICAL CAPSULE

2008-06-27T01:57:00.031-04:00

I have this sick addiction to magazines. Thousands of them sit tucked away in boxes and plastic tubs waiting to be chronicled in this huge periodical room that I've envisioned for myself. As I get younger I accumulate more bullshit, wondering what wiseguy will come along and create the magazine connoisseurs version of youtube. Usually if I'm buying a mag it's for the cover. Today I came across Fashion Rocks Magazine w. J-Lo on the cover and wondered why I was holding on. In this case I had lifted it from the nail salon strictly for the feature on one of my favorite hip-hop couples and their promise to reveal themselves through reality tv. You see, magazines are little treasures because words are valuable and I love to look back on history, kind of how a DJ collects vinyl. Well, Mr. & Mrs. Jones it's been a year and I'm still waiting.

FOR YOUR DOWNLOADING PLEASURE

2008-06-26T13:44:00.012-04:00

Neo Soul Is Dead? Yea, that's what I thought too when I hadn't heard anything new from Philly's finest by way of Liverpool. I was shocked to learn that Floetry had gone to Splittsville. But if you're like me, you'll take 'em separately than not @ all. Follow the drip and listen to her mixtape, I swear she can flow over anyfuckin'beat. MissMarshaAmbrosius (8.08) will continue to perform under the Floetry name while Nat will entertain as "The Floacist". Too bad, their show was off the meters. Adieu Adieu...

GREEN IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

2008-06-21T01:23:00.000-04:00

I'm no stranger to the green. And I think it's fabo that the world is adopting the "Go Green" motto. My latest obsession is the Green channel and their greenovation episodes. If you've downsized to basic like me, you can watch it online @ planetgreen (see > link). Today me & Gayle went to a workshop in Arlington, VA sponsored by the Arlingtonians for a Clean envoironment (ACE). Thanks for the public invite for there's nothing like seeing in person. These pics were taken on the roof of a condo building. How awesome! Something to consider when you do your next roof renovation:

Conserves energy

Improves air quality

Provides insulation

Extends the life of the roof while minimizing UV & Temp impact

Dramatically reduces storm water run-off & flow rate

Reduces cost over the life of the roof

Suppresses noise, reducing interior sound levels

LOOK WHO JOGGED THRU THE BRAIN

2008-06-21T00:34:00.004-04:00

There used to be very little info on the web about LisaWilliamson (b.1964) after the release of The Coldest Winter Ever--a strong indication of its cult following. There were promises of a Smith-funded movie in the works and then nothing. With Jada's new role as director (The Human Contract), our wishes might be granted after all. Word is that SisterSouljah's long break from the world of car trunk literature comes from travel around three continents to research her new protagonist. Yep ladies, clean out the begged for, borrowed or stolen and make room! According to Publisher's Weekly, Atria Books will release the sequel, Midnight, October 14, 2008 with an initial print run of 500,000. {And that's without the aid of Opie's approval}. Amidst all of your excitement, let's not forget the origins of a true Master Teacher.

VID PICK OF THE WEEK

2008-06-19T14:32:00.008-04:00

Gnarls Barkley, Going On
Directed by Wendy Morgan

Where did the treatment for Going On come from and upon hearing the song, did you initially want to include Gnarls Barkley in the video?

The brief for the video was open to have the band in it or not. Given the idea I had and the location, I thought they would probably be cool with not being in it. The idea came like any other idea, the song led to it, it’s the type of idea that changes and evolves a you are in the process but given the lyrical contentent and the feel of the song, I had the idea of a portal to another dimension.

Your direction seems reminiscent of the shots seen in the movie, City of God. Any influences?

To be honest not really, I like that movie allot but I wasn’t thinking about it, I think the locations and the cast maybe led to that look incidentally.

Movement is another theme, do you have a background in dance/choreography?

No I don’t. I know what I like though and we casted dancers based on how they moved naturally, we also has an excellent choreographer with us by the name of shotyme.

I recently viewed your blog where you spend a lot of time in Barcelona. Aside from the people, what places, structures inspire you behind the camera?

Lots of different things inspire me, one of the most inspiring things I can remember in terms of a place is riding a train into NYC and getting to see all the boroughs and backyards along the way. I also took a trip to Africa a few years ago which was a big inspiration for this video.

Toronto as well?

Yes I spent a long time living in Toronto where there is a big West Indian population; I love dancehall and reggae music in general.

Living in Toronto and viewing your MTV clips for the 10 Spot, sexisn't taken too seriously compared to a highly-sexed U.S. where commercials and videos tend to stick to PG safe mode. What are some of the other major comparisons between the two countries where film is concerned?

I think Americans are a little more repressed than Canadians, Canadians are nicer and maybe more boring.

How do you prepare for your next video shoot?

Stress allot, draw story boards, not sleep much and argue allot.

Advice for artists pursuing a career in video/film?

If you want it really bad just start making stuff, people will notice if you really put your heart into something.

Any grand ideas for your future in film?

Yes I’m currently working on a feature film script, lets hope one day I get to direct it.

A STORY OF BETRAYAL OR COMMON SENSE?

2008-06-19T11:57:00.016-04:00

THE DEEPER THE COVER,

THE DARKER THE SECRET.

A film by Bill Duke

Always skeptical when a new Black indie film hits the market, I heard that BillDuke (2.26) (Menace to Society, "you know you fucked up?") dropped a straight to dvd joint about the down low, exploring the ramifications where leading a double life is concerned and how it ruins a woman's perspective on love, family and relationships. I usually give a flic fifteen minutes before I decide if it's a keeper or accidentally scratch the disc so that the return will go smoothly. Five minutes into Cover I was hooked. The movie opens with Valerie Maas played by Aunjanue Ellis (In Too Deep, Ray) as the prime suspect for the murder of a famous singer, Ryan Chambers (Leon). I won't give too much away although a smart cookie can piece together the puzzle after the first half...most of it anyway. Valerie's naivete' and outlook is like most women who ignore the signs of a man who is, well suspect. I've ignored them in more instances than I care to remember, but who am I to judge or pull out my gaythermometer any time I sense a little femininity? If I did that, then every boyfriend--past, present and future share the DL gene. But no seriously, it's quite obvious in the movie and in reality that the signs are almost always evident. However, it is a woman's right to know if the man you trust and love likes a little pudding on his stick. Reiterated, the right to know, the right to share the experience (sometimes a man can have his cake and eat it too), or the right to walk away. When the world gets over the idea of two men together and acknowledges the fact that we are all curious and attracted to one another in this big ol' gay world, then the so-called DL epidemic won't be too hard to swallow. Until that happens, let a mafucka know.

Aural Inspiration:

Dru Hill, What Are We Gonna Do

{Ummm, was I the only one who thought this was an ode to a D.L. love affair that could never be}

RELIGULOUS

2008-06-16T12:50:00.002-04:00

If my Sundays were reserved for TimRussert, then my late nights held a slot for Politically Incorrect. Boy was I glad to see BillMaher (1.20) return with Real Time. I sooo respect the views and logical sense that come so easily for my boy and his sarcasm meter is killer. {I definitely can see Karrine's attraction}. October 3rd can't come quick enough for the release of his doc, Religulous directed by Borat's Larry Charles. The film explores religious ideas, beliefs and claims that are patently absurd, comical and well, ridiculous. Fast forward and imagine how riled up the fanatics will be. Grab the green, I can't wait!

JUST LIKE DADDY

2008-06-15T15:40:00.001-04:00

Me & Daddy, Summer 1981

FREAKY FRIDAY THE 13th

2008-06-13T20:03:00.011-04:00

I'm really gonna miss my dude TimRuss (3.07). I introduced myself to politics when I was about 16 and Meet the Press was the show that got me excited about world affairs. I caught him interviewing Clinton about Iraq (1997) and Saddam's promise to shoot down any spy planes zooming over his country. Clinton insisted that these flights were merely United Nations airplanes whose job was to monitor activity after the Gulf War and Iraq's possible use of biological warfare, schume those weapons of mass destruction. How ironic that a decade later the u.s. media is still wasting ink and tv time on reasons why they have every right to rape the Iraqis of whatever resources they have left. While Tim's voice reminded me of a no-nonsense professor, his presence was good ol' saint Nick with the button nose and rosy cheeks that seemed to get brighter whenever a guest pissed him off. What I respected most is that he provided an unbiased platform for every guest, allowing them to right their wrongs and most times giving them just enough rope to hang themselves. That same year he interviewed Mr. Farrakhan and I was hooked. Sunday mornings @ 11am was my chance to see just wtf was goings ons in this crazy ass world of politics&bullshit. And nobody did it better! R.I.P. Russ, not sure who will fill those shoes.

DEAR JACK, IT'S ME TWIG

2008-06-11T23:16:00.007-04:00

It's June and I have been on a creative hiatus, at least from the blogosphere. I can't lie, it's a little daunting and takes more than courage to let your words go. I have trouble most times writing my thoughts in my blue leather bound journal for fear that in the wrong hands, shit could get outta control. I even carry it around with me at all times (past relationships will leave you scarred in more ways than you thought). But this week I learned a lesson in fearlessness, wondering how and when I had lost my armor, remembering when I used to take risks without hesitation. The other night I dreamt that I drove my bicycle (gas prices even haunt me while sleep) from Bmore to the 215. Significance: Bike, train, automobile I must take flight. Well, the kid is back and the show must go on.

Aural Inspiration:

The Roots, The Show

R.KELLY-NOT GUILTY

2008-05-24T00:44:00.026-04:00

May 5, 1993

Aaliyah's Diary

Got it, hmmph

(Chorus)

Age ain't nothing but a number

Throwing down ain't nothing but a thang

This lovin' I have for you

It'll never change

Here I am and there you are

You're eyes are calling me to your heart

All you gotta do is knock and I'll let you in

Then we will feel the passion that flows within

I don't mean to be bold but I gotta let you know

I got a thing for you and I can't let go...

When I saw this month's issue of Fader I thought to myself, didn't Aaliyah past in August but then I remembered that the highly anticipated execution of R.Kelly was all the buzz. {The people over @ Fader really know how to bring things full circle} Dig a lil' deeper and today is the anniversary for the release of her platinum album, Age Ain't Nothing But a Number. 13 @ the time, I had met my first real boyfriend on the beeperline who happened to be pushing 18. I did everything to hide the numbers, telling my mother he was 16 which was still too old for her innocent Catholic school doll. Shiit. Babygirl put it all into perspective and made my sneaking around alright when I rocked to 'At Your Best' and 'Street Thing'. I figured that if she was singing about it, then I couldn't have been the only teenager with such mature feelings.

Adults would always hit us with, "you're too young to know what love really is." That's bullshit. My journals then revealed a young woman who was well aware of happiness, pain, doubt, all of the ingredients needed for a relationship. One of my all-time favorite collabos is Your Body's Callin' (His & Hers Extended Mix) where 'Liyah whispers to Kels, "boy my body's calling you/so do what you've gotta' do/are you hungry, do you wanna eat?" I used to rewind that joint over and over, especially those late nights when I wasn't supposed to be on the horn.

Shortly after her platinum success, Vibe released the issue with a marriage certificate between AaliyahHaughton (1.16) and RobertKelly (1.08) that dispelled all of the rumors. When I got my copy in the mail I showed all of my girlfriends who swore me down that it was a fake. My point of reference was the steamy duet between the two and her first album which was the public's glimpse into 'Liyah's diary.

This isn't an attempt to judge, but rather humanize the so-called R. Kelly syndrome. The masses can roll their eyes in disgust, but I assure you that he is part of a million man march who has a yearning and admiration for the young at heart. When we shared stories in high school most of our dates were pushing 30. Where was the jury then? The women have been the worst since the release of the tape because we all know our skills (if you have any) come from a man who was at least 10 years + and we all know they were cultivated before or during high school.

I recently pulled out the infamous tape and what probably makes most people feel uncomfortable is that they never figured that Backstreet Boys and golden showers went well together. No seriously. While the "victim" seems to have problems with the girth, I doubt if that was her first time. The real anger and finger-pointing is fueled by mothers who really don't have a clue what their little girls are up to or their husbands, and in-closet freaks who are suddenly born again. The interviews conducted in Fader all speak on the mystique behind Aaliyah, how she was beyond her time. Like many of us, she held onto secrets that she would take to the grave. I still mourn for her and treasure her lyrics that were taken from the most revealing, darkest places, but let's not forget that on occasion, age ain't nothing but a number.

IF I WERE KING

2008-04-09T23:35:00.010-04:00

When Jodeci's Forever My Lady dropped I fell into an obsessed, mad lovesickness. That was probably the only group that I ever plastered on every inch of my bedroom walls, saving a few spots for MJB. Their sound drowned out any ugliness and amplified their sexiness. I also fell for the man behind the group, thus began my relationship with Puffy. I compare it to Clarence Worley's infatuation with Elvis in the classic flic, True Romance. You know how he sometimes hears Elvis in his mind pumpin' him up when shit has gone awry or cheering him on when he's @ the top of his game. When I'm doing my thang and on my A-game, it's Diddy in my ear shouting all kinds of euphoric applause as if I just created his next multi-platinum hit. When shit hits the fan his voice becomes low, disappointing, the kind reserved for a big brother. Sorry, but that's the closest analogy I can come up with to help you understand our relationship. He's the one artist who can do no wrong, who like a big brother will always be given a second chance. After the airing of mtv's If I Were King, I was thankful for reality tv and a another glimpse into the many sides of Sean Combs (11.04). My favorite scene is his request for a runway filled with Black Jesus'. If you haven't seen it follow the drip (click the blog title) and watch him take that, take that extra slice of his amerikkkan pie.

JESUS WOULD SMACK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU

2008-03-24T02:59:00.003-04:00

If Jesus returned on this holy day of 2008, would George be his first choice?

IF I DON'T KEEP THAT SHIT REAL, WHO WILL?

2008-03-21T22:15:00.008-04:00

Pre-Settlement Days

Anucha Sanders, former vp of marketing and business operations @ Madison Square was recently awarded her 40 acres in the amount of 11.5 mil after filing suit against Isiah Thomas for sexual harassment. In April's issue of Essence she says, "I had been referred to as a bitch, ho, a mutherfucker, and was regularly bringing such issues to my management's attention." Ummm, MissAnucha that sounds like friendly BDSM wordplay. I thought sexual harassment involved numerous attempts @ ass-grabbing and requests to bend you over while no one was watching. Not that I'm implying you have to be in the running for the MissBeautiful awards, but I'm just saying...

{through clenched teeth} "That's right, CTC bitches!"

MAKE ME FEEL GOOD

2008-03-21T03:07:00.004-04:00

While we're on the topic of Jack, let's plunge into the world of E--one of my favorite letters of the alphabet and X, the letter I pray for during Scrabble. I read about the so-called E Kingpin, Ken Francis (see the latest King Mag with MissToccara reppin' the thick women) and the first image-association was the scene in Disorderlies when the Fat Boys poker for pills. Crazy, right? Incredible Hulks, 4-Leaf clovers, 007s, ingenious and manufactured logos like the Nike swoosh and well, you can't help but "do it." While I'm not condoning or promoting daily usage of MDMA, it's no secret to members of the e-club why the drug was administered in the seventies to couples on the brink of a split-up. What I can't wrap my American French around is the backwardassness of our federal government and their need to condemn and prosecute pharmacists who happen to be Black or somehow intertwined with hip hop culture. No surprise the world is filled with hypocrisy. It comes so easily.

DEAR JACK, IT'S ME TWIG

2008-03-21T00:54:00.004-04:00

If professional conversationalist was a job, I'd be ranked on Money Magazine's Top 100. Not that I'm the type of person who has a comment for everything, but I admit that I have the kind of antennae that pick up on fascinating shit, topics that I hear other people talking about 6 months to a year after I've moved onto some other shit. Old news that you probably forgot about... And my sense of humor can go any place I wanna take it. This blogging thing isn't new to me, but I figured that it would find its way to saturation one day. I just never knew when I would give in and join the ranks. They say bloggers should stick to journal-writing but I'm positive that if I left mine in plain view of company they'd find a reason to a take a peek. Today's entry would read like this: I just couldn't get right today. Everything I touched turned to shit, I even broke two glasses. I felt like I was living outside of myself, looking beyond the interstate where my car had flipped into a ditch. I don't have a typical 9-5 but if I did I would have surely went postal on this 20th day of March. I filled the tank @ 3.55/gallon and drove with no real destination, wondering what a creative chickie like me should do next with her life. Besides professional dominatrix who administers cbt in her private dungeon, I'd be the first Black, female poker player. (You would want to stay tuned, because I'll be entering into my first, professional tournament before the end of '08). Anywho, my chilled glass of Gentleman Jack (John Daniels when I'm in his company) brings me here to Bloggerville. Let's see where this goes.